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ABSTINENCE-ONLY?! Sex Education USA vs. Germany | German Girl in America

100 Replies to “ABSTINENCE-ONLY?! Sex Education USA vs. Germany | German Girl in America”

  • Frightening how poor and religiously controlled education can be. But in defense of the abstinence argument, statistics show that the more sexual partners you had before marriage, the greater the likelihood of divorce.

  • I think it has to do with money. Sex ed means you have to pay a teacher and have all parents sign off that they are ok with the teacher teaching it. Kids then have to sit for a few hours while we just wanted to play outside.

    Its cheaper and easier to say "Just dont have sex, now go play outside"

    I will say now that I'm a married adult I do see a correlation with being promiscuous and bad finances, depression/ suicidal thoughts, and overall personal responsibility.

    But I'm just a 29 year old boomer💁‍♂️

  • You’ve handled the sex topic very well in this post. Germany handles sex education for youth better, more comprehensively than in the US. I think it would be awesome if sex education in the US was similar to that in Germany, but at out States level, not Federal. Your stats of 7.9% Germany vs. 41.2% US out of 1000 was shocking. There are other factors in the US that contributes to teen pregnancies including race, economics, and social programs that actually pay for or promote having babies at a young age. I don’t know if Germany has such factors, too.

    Your summary was very good. Religious beliefs vs factual information was a good point! Agree completely.

    Sehr gut gemacht, deutsches Mädchen. Es tut uns leid. Meine deutsche Schrift ist nicht sehr gut.

    FYI:

    Our family is German American, still considers itself German, and has lived in North America since the early 1600s. The US and German nations don’t have similar governments. Like, at all. Germany came into being through empire and the sword; for much of your history you were governed by the aristocracy and an emperor. Not you are a democracy. The US resulted from ideals. We aren’t a pure democracy and loathe the tyranny of the majority (well, some of us). For example, our religious rights aren’t derived from government and can’t be overruled by American courts. In theory at least. And we aren’t beholden to a European court on human rights. Government and Courts can’t grant rights to US citizens. We already have those rights. Courts can only remove rights from citizens.

    The phrase is “crossing a line”, not “crossing a border”.

    US separation of Church and State vs German was an interesting distinction. It’s a discussed topic in the US. I would prefer the German model of Church and State not separated.

    🙂

  • Vast majority of the differences between USA and Germany on sex is based off of religion and openness. The fact that prostitution is legal in Germany shows how open Germans are on sex.

  • Germany has this one right. Religion in this country is really about controlling the masses and keeping people dumb about real life, do what we say you are just a dumb sheep, we need to be more like Europe on this. Thanks.

  • If you're expecting and trusting school-teachers to teach your kids everything that they need to know about sex – you're a lousy parent. That's my opinion and it applies globally. I don't what language you speak or how good the schools are. I just couldn't imagine going through sex-education without already knowing what's going on. If you're expecting kids to figure that stuff out in a classroom with 30 other equally-uneducated kids – that's just bad parenting. I don't care what magazines they can get.

  • Okay in practice birth control is only 10% effective.

    As for stds go, on average condemns only provide protection 30% of time and can due damage to the male.

    The only known effective form of STD and pregnancy protection is abstanance.

    People who have had sex outside of marriage is 80% more likely to cheat on their partner. Well sex prior to marriage is a predictor of divorce.

    Plan B is linked to ovarian cancer.

    The only form of safe sex is not having sex.

  • After having watched all your videos…. I now know why the West is dying. I also know why Europe is a hell hole.

    Funny how everyone comes over to America to tell us how to act…. while simultaneously wanting to be American. It's hilarious.

  • This is the thing that completely baffles me about Christian conservatives in the US. They don't want abortions. They also don't want to give kids the information to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It makes no sense.

  • For the record, at 9:00 when discussing the standardization of sex-ed curriculum, your facts aren't 100%. In order to receive $$$$ from the Federal gov't for education, every state has to submit curricula (plural-form of curriculum) to the U.S. Department of Education for review and approval/revisions. They must also have specific testing and statistical gathering procedures in place to ensure that students are actually learning the things they're supposed to be learning. There are also very specific national laws regarding things like – all the information has to be generally accepted by the scientific community, it must be factual and medically accurate. Somewhere – I'm trying to find it right now – there is about a 45 page handbook regarding the requirements of anatomic correctness, size, color, level of detail, etc. regarding all sexual content (pictures/drawings/sketches/artwork) and so, if the schools are all following all the laws, yes – it is in fact quite regulated and standardized. But, in the US, the states have nearly exclusive rights to decide how to do their own education systems and federal government just puts rules in place that say – do things this way or we will take your Federal funding away.

  • If we had decent teachers and the lessons stay away from political agendas then it might be better. Aka teaching 6 year olds about anal sex, and 7 year olds about how to be transgender and cross-dressing. But speaking from expirence our teachers (most) cant teach anything well. If you live in a high class neighborhood maybe you'll get average teachers. Most can't teach math.. (when my class got to college we were 2 years behind where we should have been.. all of us) they can't teach basic history or how govt works and the purpose of the 3 branches, they can't be fired even if their terrible, luckily there is usually a few teachers who go above and beyond for their students.. but having said that I wouldn't want to give them any more responsibility over what they have already. Most people learn 10x more from the internet vs anything we ever would have learned from our sex Ed classes.

  • In Florida when I was in school the girls and boys were separated in sixth grade for basic sex education about how our reproductive system worked and proper feminine hygiene. More in-depth sex education was offered in high school health class which was actually an elective at my high school. I was not allowed to date until I was 16 and I was not expected to remain a virgin until I got married. I was encouraged to date as many boys that I wanted but was told that if I slept with every boy I dated I would be a slut, If I had sex with someone when I didn’t love then I was just banging them to scratch an itch. I was expected to date them long enough to know that I loved them and be willing to have a child ( in case you got pregnant) with them before we “ made love” . My sister-in-law teaches fifth grade and overhears girls graphically describing getting “ laid “and needing a “booty call” and she can’t inform the parents that there 10 and 11-year-olds daughters are likely sexually active because that would be a slut shaming the girls who are mostly prepubescent . Girls at that age do not naturally think about sexuality and being sexual without society sexualizing them and teaching it to them. I work in retail and see heavily padded bras, thong underwear and high-heeled shoes marketed for girls as young as five and I’ve seen mothers buy it for their little girls. A few years back I saw a story on CNN where a poll found that 98% of American kids between the ages of 8 and 16 had seen hard-core porn and and “unnatural porn” on their cell phones. Apparently the new normal for our modern woke society is for 10-year-olds to have booty calls and watch porn on their cell phones.

  • Americans and I'm talking about the boomer's. Are generally prudes when it comes to discussing topics on sex.
    Europeans are more open about the topic.

  • Personally I happen to be conservative, and do believe abstinence is best. Obviously it is the only 100% sure way to avoid disease or pregnancy. That said, I also don't consider abstinence to be a reasonable expectation and choice for everyone. Germany, to me, sounds more sensible. Teach kids what's what, give them safe environments and trusted/informed adults they can come to with questions, remind them to never do anything they're not comfortable doing or with a person they're not comfortable with… And most importantly make sure kids have someplace they can go to get help if something "goes wrong" – Pregnancy, disease, whatever else… In that last case especially, its important to be sure "help" doesn't also include pushing "political agendas"/specific choices forced on kids by adults. Hopefully the US gets a grip eventually – The Victorian Era ended a long time ago. Thank you Felicia for sharing your insights and experiences from the German perspective.

  • Some background information:

    1. The US is not a unitary country as Germany is. Each state is responsible for establishing education policy, so there is great variation in what is or is not taught.

    2. By custom, it is forbidden to teach human evolutionary biology outside of a few universities in the US. Lacking such, those who profess to teach "sex education" understand little and as a result introduce other misinformation, such as the anti-scientific assertion that humans possess the attribute "gender".

    3. Unlike much of the Protestant world where Liberal Protestant theology has vanquished conservative Protestant theology, these two factions are still battling in the US, and since the early 20th century , public schools are seen as a project of liberal Protestantism (Progressivism).

    In the end, it is the delusion that humans are something other than an animal species that leads to an inability to talk about human reproduction processes in zoological and biological clarity and factfulness.

  • You can't really compare Catholic schools to public schools because the approach is very different. Your interviews would have been more valid if the Americans you interviewed had all gone to public schools like most Americans do. It's much different in states like California or Oregon than in Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi etc.

  • This is the first time you are not the only person in your video, well done!

    Speaking of options parents have in Germany, you say that parents don't get to opt them out of sex education. But apparently, homeschooling is not a legally sanctioned alternative to taking children to a public school (not that independent schools are still public in this sense) in Germany. See:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYLan7EsE0k

    And any idea what sex education is like in Canada and if the problems with sex education in the U.S you describe may actually be an issue in North America generally?

  • Great Video! Very informative! I'm from The Northeast Part of The US and I never had the opportunity to take sex ed classes. So everything about sex I had to learn on my own through websites and health pan-flits from the doctors office, which took a long time for me to become knowledgeable in the same way as young people from Germany. I wish we had sex education mandatory across the country like in Germany, I think that would help get rid or have less of the stigma, ignorance and mis information, teen pregnancies and STI's.

    However, not everyone here would agree especially a lot of religious people.

  • Hello Felicia:
    I think it is Great the way you can talk about any subject, You done that like a real professional. I'm from the Northeast US but was raised in the country and there was no such thing as sex education, I had to learn from trial & error. While I was never taught it was something dirty no one in my family ever mentioned sex. I think I believed in the stork until I was about 20.😁 I'm surprised since my ancestors were European. Guess they changed their ways when they came over here. I enjoyed your video as always and I also enjoy hearing your view on things. Thanks for sharing.

  • The US has nearly 350 million people. It is very difficult to get everyone to agree to educational decisions that that are all encompassing the wants and needs vary so much state to state county to county town to town. That’s why these types of decisions are typically made locally or at the state level.

  • This issue is much more fundamental than sex ed. In Germany, there is no pretense. The government is in charge and takes precedence over the parental rights. About ten years ago, a family fled to the US from Germany because they were very religious and they wanted to homeschool their kids. The parents faced loss of custody, prosecution, fines, and even imprisonment, and germany fought their immigration to the US for five years. They wanted them extradited back like criminals. Eventually the German government let them go, but it was an eye opener. Americans are not willing to cede that much power to the state. Having said all that I agree with mandatory sex education but it should be taught as part of the biology class. Abstinence has no place in a biology class.

  • I don't remember when I didn't have erections. I had them, they were uncomfortable, but I didn't think much. I learned what it was called on the internet.

  • Why there is such HUGE differences between the US and europe on sex, sexuality, and sex ed:
    1.) The US was originally settled by deeply religious and susperstitious people. That mindset is still found in certain parts of the US.
    2.) The US Constitution guarantees to the states powers not given to the federal government in the constitution. However, starting with the administration of Franklin Roosevelt the federal government has tried harder and harder to be a nanny state. While some states have endeavoured to be "progressive", that ends up translating to control-which is counter productive.
    3.) The landmark Roe v. Wade supreme court decision on abortion has been probably the most divisive case decided by that court. The justification for the supremes to decide the case was article 7 section 22 of the constitution which gives the federal government the right to regulate interstate business. Since Roe v. Wade involved only one building not connected in any way to another building/business it was a stretch of the court to decide the case. This case has actually not only set back common sense relations in our society, but also the ability for certain areas to actually be standard bearers of great ideas.
    4.) Because sex is still regarded as nasty and disgusting and so is most nudity, our laws, mores, and standards give kids conflicting ideas on sex and nudity and this cripples the US.

  • I am aware that this is a very sensitive topic but it is one that has been on my mind for a while and I'm glad that I finally got to finish a video on this and share it with you guys! I am sharing my personal view on this topic in this video. You do not have to agree with me and are welcome to share your arguments and opinions in the comments as long as you stay objective and don't insult anyone. Thank you guys for watching and for your support! 🙂

  • Nicely done. I feel that the United States should adopt the same type philosophy concerning sex education and the same laws as Germany. I have always felt that America needed to be more open and "adult" about educating our kids so that they can make the most informed decision about sex and about when then make that decision when the time is right for them. Good job!

  • In US sex ed varies not only state to state but town to town. My sex ed (north NJ public school) n late 60s early 70s was much like the German National standard of the mid 90s. All the details presented correctly. Private school kids were just taught abstinence. No standard texts were available. I had sex ed at age 11, 12. 15, and 18 in class for 3 hrs each week all year long.

  • I think each state has different sex education laws. In Connecticut I had to take it from 5th grade through 12th grade. It’s called health class

  • Here in the states , over the last few decades we haven't been teaching kids to be smart about anything so why would sex education be any different? To me it is just another way we are failing the next generation.

  • I completely agree with you. I think if the U.S. government was able to simply force all states to teach comprehensive sex education, within two generations pretty much all opposition would cease. Unfortunately, such a law can't be passed without agreement first, rather than later.

    The U.S. government is designed to emphasize allowing states to set their own laws as much as possible, with Federal laws, when they exist, mostly serving as the lowest common standard. States can then set a higher standard if they wish. Unfortunately, this has the side effect of making uniform standards impossible for most topics.

  • I am a Christian and I believe that sex should wait until after marriage. That being said, the fear-instilling abstinence only teaching obviously does not work very well. I also don't agree with the casual way of teaching that sex is a part of life, you can do whatever you want with your body, and here are ways to "protect yourself". Someone at my church said it best – "There is no such thing as safe sex before marriage, because it's more than just physical. It is an emotional and spiritual act – you can't protect from those aspects, and you will never forget your first time." I think it should be taught that your virginity is something very sacred and not to give it away lightly. Movies and media definitely do not help in the way they portray sex.

  • I get soooo tired of repeating this, but…………as with many (most) issues, it depends on the state! All of the people you interviewed are from the South. You are in the Midwest. It wasn't that long ago that women in Ohio couldn't even get prescription contraceptives without the consent of their husbands. Those are the most conservative areas of the USA. Other areas of the USA, like where I live, do have sex ed in Health class. There isn't a dedicated class called Sex Education, it's part of the Health curriculum. As far as parents' consent for this is concerned, in my area parents must opt out – not in, meaning that, unless the parent specifically objects, the child will have comprehensive sex education. Abstinence is part of that education but not to the detriment of education about other forms of pregnancy and disease prevention, safety, and general health including issues of contraception, healthy relationships, and consent.

    And yes, no matter what some try to tell you about how religion doesn't come into the reasons whey some states have fact-based sex education and some don't, don't believe it. Many state legislatures are heavily swayed by religious groups, the overall strength of that influence varies by region and state. All the people you spoke with are from those more religiously governed areas of the country.

  • Private Schools and Public Schools are completely different. I attended public schools all of my life in North Carolina and they didn't shy away from any topics (minus abortion). It was classified under the term "health class" and it began in the 6th grade. In the 9th grade we went more in-depth into these topics and they gave us condoms. We were also told we could receive free condoms at the local health clinic but I don't know anyone that didn't just go buy them in the store. The only subject that was shunned upon was abortion. Basically, the viewpoint (and this is the South) was/is we taught you that if you are to have sex and do not want to get pregnant use protection. If you need to have an abortion then you failed to follow the advice we gave. Don't take your actions out on the child and thus, own up to your mistakes. In summary, actions have consequences. Not saying this is correct just sharing my experiences of how the school system I went to dealt with this issue/topic.

  • The US is a very diverse place. It would have been good to hear some people who got comprehensive sex education in your video to hear all sides of the story.

  • "Very sensitive topic…" Yeah but still modern day hypersupersensitivity has only hypersupernegative reactions from me. It's just too much for an "old schooler" to handle… :/ Anyway, good topics, especially the more serious ones…

  • I have no idea what these folks are talking about. I'm 49, and when I was in school over 30 years ago, even in VERY conservative Kentucky and in an even MORE conservative county south of Louisville, we had mandatory sex-ed classes in 8th and 9th grade. It was never assumed this was the ONLY sex-ed we received, as the vast majority of us were told about "the birds & the bees" at home by a parent. Sorry to tell you, but it would seem your American freinds are either mistaken, or are falsely reporting this experience. I"m a Gen X'er. They told us what it was all about. Perhaps my fellow peers have chosen not to but I seriously doubt it. If anything, now days, they're going way beyond and talking about LGBTQ+. The young lady was describing what would be taught in a parochial school almost certainly, not a public one.

  • Felicia,
    I'm old. I had a very dear friend from Germany. His name was Axel Wilhelm. He went by Charlie. We had lots of similar interests. I was a photographer and he raced cars. I have lots of picts of him. He always had a German flag on his car. He eventually had to go back to Germany. He came back to visit and I let him stay at my house as we were on holiday. Since we lost contact. I really wish I could see him agin. He made his own beer. He said dont drink the bottom of the bottle. I have two pictures of him in his race car. Signed and numbered two. I have one and he has one. He taught me alot about Germany and I really enjoyed his friendship. Sorry for being off topic for your video.
    Your a real sweetheart and am sure your parents are Really proud of you. Love your videos and always behave. Life is a gift.
    Keith from MN, USA

  • America is more religious than Europe in general, though that varies widely by state and how urban or rural the state is. Like American politics in general, the South and rural areas tend to be more regressive, while the coasts tend to be more progressive. The Midwest and mountain states can can go either way, though don't generally trend towards for extremes. The South and Appalachia are called the Bible Belt for a reason.

  • I just recently found your channel, but I love your videos so much! And your English is amazing! My family is from Baden-Württemberg, but we've been in the US for several generations. I am the fifth generation born in America, descended from John Zagst who came over in 1851. John had two brothers, one who stayed in Germany and one who had come to America several years earlier in 1847. There are three branches of the family from those three brothers — two in America and one still in Germany. In my branch, I am Jeffrey (5th Gen), Son of William (4th Gen), who is Son of Joseph (3rd Gen), who is Son of Alloysius (2nd Gen), who is Son of Bernard (1st Generation born in America), who is Son of John. At some point I want to learn German because I feel an obligation to and want to speak the language of my family. Anyway, that was a long story you didn't ask for, but got anyway, haha. Love your videos and will continue watching them.

  • The subject of sex is a moral topic and has different approaches according to which worldview one adopts. Different worldviews should be taught objectively so that the individual can determine for themselves what is right for them.

  • TheFact that you have to put a disclaimer at the beginning of your video that you don’t mean to offend anybody says everything about today’s society

  • In the Nederlands we are way more open of sex . We learn about all the aspect of sex . also we learn about the lgtb way more then germany and the Dutch parents are verry open about sex. Dutch teenagers can get easily protection like birthcontrol . At the age of 16 without consent of the parents and in some cases at the age of 14. We talk to our Friends about sex and also to our parents. I'am glad i had a good sex aducation. It helpts à lot in becomming à women .

  • I thinl Germa attitudes tward sex may have changed substantially due to WW I and WW II, Especially after WW I, there was a huge disparity in numbers of men and women of child=bearing age with large numbers of disabled soldiers as well as large number of dead.  This also affected the other countries which had been involved in the whole war, whereas the US was only in the actual fighting for about 6 months. The 1920s are referred to as the Roaring Twenties here because of a wide spread breakdown of traditional attitudes among those who experienced heavy combat and there were comparble issues in Europe  (I think this happens after many major wars, and there is a return to tradition a decade or so later.  After the Civil War, the wildness was exported to the Wild West,but toward the end of the 19th century, the "reformers;" gained control and Federal laws such as the Comstock law were passed which still affect a lot of our laws.  In Europe the shock of the two World Wars had something of a permanent affect, so that, as you say, you have state churches, but they have little influence because they are more or less dying.

  • 1. You did not mention if yoor schooling included the legal issues of sex. In the US, the various states have set different ages of consnet, so that even if a girl says yes, it does not matter if she is under age. In some states there is a recognitin of couples clse in age forming and one member having a birthday and"Rsuddnly sex becoming illegal.  Other states just have a flat age with no exemptions.  In the 19th century the age of consent for marriage was a uniform 14, but in the 20th century it got raised and oddly, the most religious states tend too have lower ages of consent (15 and 17) while the "liberal"states tend to have it at 18.  Of course, the excuse is protection from adult predators, but some laws are very strict and can affect younger victims.  Sextin has added a whole new set of issues with teens sometimes charged by overzealous prosecutors with producing child pornograpy.  I don't think many schools teacht the legalities or emphasize the need to be aware of the laws of other states if you are away at colllege, mve to another state, or are just on vacation.
    2.  I grew up in the 60s in a rural area.  (part of our problem is that for the most part, schools are run by locally elected officials who are not shy about skirting state laws they disagree with)  Sex ed, such as it was, was part of a general Health class which was generally taught by a Phys Ed teacher.  In my case, even as an 8th grader, I did not have much respect for the intellectual abilities of my teacher.  One girl asked if it was possible to identify the gender of the skeleton in the corner.  He did not know.  From my reading inarchaeology, I knew it was possible if they had the pelvis and gt laughed at. 
    3.  Beware of this also.  I knew all about the biology of sex.  I read my mother's textbook on obstetrics from her nursing school.  I knew all about delivering babies.  I just could not get a date.  My impression was that the pssibility of pregnancy caused such problems that any sane girl would have to be deeply in love even to risk it.  Hence I think I put so much pressure on myself to please that I never enjoyed a date.  (remember ,  too, that this was only a few years after the pill came out and it was almost an experimental thing.  Birth control meant condoms.)

  • "They said that men are protectors and women are treasures."
    Oog make wheel! Oog light fire! Oog protect woman! Tunga!
    <beats chest in dominant display>

  • So funny. When I went to school (Gymnasium) in Bavaria in the 1990s, even then the teachers implicitly stated that everybody has a sex drive, that IT is going to happen, and that you best be prepared by using protection and birth control, also they did adress the boys in class that contraception is not exclusively the girl's responsibility. Also HIV was a huge issue then, but unfortunately for me as a gay boy, homosexuality just didn't happen in class. I guess (hope) that has changed a lot since. I got my information on what it means to be gay and have gay sex from a) the Bravo magazine and b) the guys I experimented with who were older than I was. What I really missed was a climate where also gay boys could fall in love with each other and maybe make out on the schoolyard as my classmates and esses did or hold hands or just be together. I also have the impression that the climate has changed on that topic.
    For the US I hope that their society can shift from that hypocritical "abstinence is a thing" approach because it simply is not. Teenagers are in the blossom of sex hormone production, their bodies (both male and female) are ready to have sex and they will try it one way or the other. It is better to tell them how they can enjoy intimacy and physical contact without risk than heap guilt and fear on them and then send them off to run into a potentially dangerous situation.

  • Another view is that God created man and woman from the man, and He instituted marriage to join the two for reasons that include procreation. Sex is meant for the marriage bed and in this way is a sacred and special thing between the partners. Civilization did flourish for many years and we are here today. This biblical view is not presented in secular education on grounds of separation of church and state, but perhaps all worldviews should be presented and let the individual decide what is right for themselves.

  • Sex education in Indiana during the late 80s early 90s was a joke! They definitely spent more time on the Just Say No campaign

  • Here's a fun point: Germany is DYING. Your birth rate is about 1.3 children per woman, your median female age is in the 40s. Within 30 years, DEMOGRAPHICALLY, your society is going to crash.

    Encouraging graduating from high school and getting married before sex results in a healthier society where it is more financially viable to have replacement birth levels.

    We also attract immigrants who want to work, assimilate into American culture, and have AMERICAN kids. Our LEGAL immigrants have low crime levels. The ones you can attract to YOUR moribund society have no interest in becoming German culturally, or supporting your social welfare system.

    Contemplate that as you watch Germany die before you hit sixty, madam.

  • Sadly teaching abstinence only and not giving info about what sex is and how it works makes both boys and girls easier prey for sexual predators. They don't know what's happening until it's too late.
    Not that sex ed will completely protect them from the predators but it can help them be able to recognize they and seek to get away or get help.

  • It seems the German contraception education has worked very well. Fertility rate in Germany is 1.5 child per woman. 2.1 is replacement level.

  • The American schools did a much better job.

    You can scoff, but even a single sexual partner before marriage greatly increases a woman's chances of unhappiness and divorce. And yes, people want to marry virgins, so the apple analogy works.

    And yes, we believe in a moral society, so sex outside of marriage is bad.

    Also, keep in mind that not every American school is the same. We're a huge country where small towns right next to each other will teach completely different things. So there isn't really an "American" version of sex ed. Plenty of places here do the same garbage Germany does.

  • Until the 20th century, most people grew up on farms. At that time, toddlers could see the barnyard animals having sex and grew up with an understanding of the mechanics and result of sex. It is only in modern times that sex has become a mystery.

  • You would think the kids in this video received their sex education circa 1970 before the resurgence of incurable STDs. Since sexual morals loosened in the late 1960s, the rate of incurable sexually transmitted infections has also vastly increased, and condoms aren't fully reliable in preventing them. They talk kind of snarkily about abstinence education, but (depending on which study you read), it actually has made a difference in many parts of the US, and also in some Third World countries that saw abstinence education reduce their rates of AIDs infection.

    And nobody in the video explained well why it's a good idea for teenage children to have uncommitted sex.

    By the way, the reason religion plays so little part in sex education in Germany is probably that religion more or less doesn't exist in Germany anymore.

  • Even though they may not be enforced rigorously, the "Age of Consent" laws in the USA in each state could be a factor. In California it is illegal to have sex with anyone under 18, and an 18 yr old could be charged with statutary rape having consensual sex with a 17 yr old. It's also "possible" that two 17 yr olds could be prosecuted for satutorliy raping each other. Other states have "Romeo and Julliet" laws where two people close to the same won't be prosecuted. See: https://www.ageofconsent.net/states

  • I went to Catholic school. I think we talked about sex ed for like 2 hours. I assume my school wanted the parents to talk about the Birds and the Bees at home.

  • Actually sex education in the US has gone through various phases. Sometimes more informative. Sometimes too informative. Sometime uninformative. If you look at statistics you'll see that there have been various waves of teen pregnancies and extreme youth promiscuity (under 12 years old) after these periods the sex ed tightens up. It is perceived that the sex ed is responsible for teaching the students too much. Right now we are in the fall out over the early 2000's crisis.

    Knowing Europe pretty well I wouldn't hold up the German model too high. It's not the kind of thing that will work in the US. Federal control over sex education isn't going to work here. It's not just religion, it's also the autonomy of the states. I know quite a few younger folks now grown up in a stricter environment. Generally they seem to be doing fine having waited and being taught to wait. Sex ed tends to be seen, and maybe rightly so, as propaganda and not very neutral. So if the government controls it, then who is controlling the teaching of the government?

  • I was raised Catholic and back in the 70s when I was in grade school (6th grade?) there was one and I mean ONE time when the priest separated the boys and the girls. The boys and a Priest (you might wonder what a priest knows about sex…not much) went to a class room where we basically had "the talk" We discussed  several different topics, for some reason I focused on only one of the talking points "wet dreams"….uh yeah. We really should have talked more about this subject. The girls went with a nun (once again what does a nun know about sex? We were never told what the girls talked about and they seemed pretty tight lipped about the subject when it was all over. And THAT was the only time that sex was ever brought up in grade school. Highschool wasn't much better. So I was pretty clueless for a long time and I do believe it cause some issues for me later in life. PARENTS…EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT SEX !

  • I always enjoy your video. I hope you will continue making them. Yes this is a controversial topic and I am not trying to start an argument. I am very happy that you admitted to and respected religious beliefs. I think it depends on what worldview you come from. Christians have done a bad job of explaining their position in the past. It should be stated that the Bible doesn't teach against sex but rather sex outside of marriage. It actually speaks positively of it when done in its proper context. I understand if people have different beliefs. However I wish that those who disagree would be more respectful of each others views.

    I will agree that better health and sexual education needs to be taught in America. However no one wants to address the pornography epidemic and the ills it brings upon our society. I think we can all agree on this: Sex is a beautiful thing but also a very dangerous thing. When used improperly, it can bring lasting damage to a persons life, family, and marriage. There much be boundaries. We are free to disagree as to what those might be i guess. I appreciate your opinion and hope that you wont shy away from hot topics like this in the future. They help us grow and better one another.

  • agrree…. we received even in the 80s our sexed in school + of course bravo… and i remember vividly …. girlfriend wanted to spend first night over… both of us got condoms beforehand … and my mother (raised catholic) … came into my room … dropped some condoms on my table with the words "i am too young to be a grandmother!" and "have fun" … of course we were both so horrified that that nothing really happened that night … 😉

  • This topic takes me back to California in 1996. There was a 50 or 60 year old lady curious if the au pair of a family 'did it' when she met her boyfriend. She was so stiff, needed 5 minutes to ask the question. I answered very German, being surprised how prude this married woman with two children was acting. I said, well, they are in love, they want to get married, they are both healthy. What else would they do, of course they have Sex. I told the au pair and we laughed forever. We laughed even more when she told me that his American friends asked them about their love life. They told them she wanted to stay a virgin till they were married.
    On the door of my Californian school was a huge poster. Ways to say no…. I am hungry is one of them. But eating instead of saying no does only cause obese people…

  • There is NO SUCH THING as "safe sex" I say this as a South African where we have the highest percentage of HIV infected. Abstinence should be the priority and then condoms etc. STDs are becoming more and more common in Germany because of the multiple partner culture (or lack thereof). Furthermore, having sex with someone whom you are not inlove with can lead to depression, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. Feel free to object to what I have said but I am just telling you from what I have experienced here in South Africa and Germany.

  • Excellent….but abstinence is in fact the best way to avoid sexual related problems, but I agree with German Girl that massive improvement in the US is needed.

  • There should be a class for men to take on women's psychology and behavior. That will show men to stop irresponsibly having premarital sex with anyone.

    If you are a man reading my post, go MGTOW. You won't regret it. Women are crazy, not a mystery.

  • I live in Boston area. I had no idea that others parts of USA had this experience. I graduated in the 90's and my sex ed was very similar to your experience in Germany. It was never mentioned by the school to be married before having sex or anything along those lines. I actually feel our sex ed was very thorough. My boys are in 5th and 8th grade and started sex Ed in 4th grade. They had to learn about menstrual cycles as well. There is an option to opt-out of sex Ed but that is not common. I've actually never heard of anyone being "opted-out". So strange that we have full on sex ed from 4th grade until 12th but there are other areas that handle it so differently. Hearing these Americans give their experiences is so strange-and I did 4 years in catholic school as well.

  • In Texas, we had Sex E.D. but it was mostly learning about all the STDs that you can get and how if you don't want STDs you just shouldn't have sex. We also were shown pictures of Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Blue Waffle, and AIDS on both men and women. It was horrifying. But let's be honest, the number one way to not get STDs and pregnant is by being abstinent. It's unrealistic in this day and age, but it's foolproof. I always planned on waiting until I was married, but then I learned that I was gay and then sex after marriage was essentially no longer an option :/

  • i enjoyed the video. But, I think you need to elaborate more on your opinion abd show facts. I dont mean to insult, but you sound like EVERY Liberal discussing their feelings.
    I admit, this is a though subject to perfect. There is NO correct way to handle the matter. What one person does with the knowlegde/wealth you give them, maybe totally diferent from someone else. That is Free-Will. So yes, Education is important.
    I was raised in a Christian home (Non-Demoninational). I have attend public schools from K-12th grade. I received sex education on three occasions. Once in 5th grade, in California (LA). The other times were in Arizona. Once in 6th grade, the other was in 9th grade (High School).
    For 5th grade, we had a male and female teacher discuss the subject and answered our questions.
    For 6th grade, The separated the boys and girls. Boys had a male teacher, while girls had a female teacher.
    Both 5th & 6th grade sessions required parents permission and were a week long.
    Finally, 9th grade was a week long in Health class. No parent permission required.
    In my opinion, parents should teach there kids, when they start asking questions. Similar to the movie, Kindergarten Cop. "Boys have a penis, Girls have a vagina"…The kids learned that from somewhere. I learned that from pornographic material that I had seen, way BEFORE 5th grade. My mom never had the sex talk with when I was a kid. She was too religious. Sex was forbidden. It wasn't until 10th grade that my mom and aunt had a talk with me. And that was more about finding the right person for marriage.
    At the time of my youth (Elementary School, K-6th), my dad wasn't really around. He was too busy working or in an alcoholic haze.
    So, like most people…Friends are a big influence.
    In regards to Christianity, there is no arguing. Sex before marriage is not a good idea. There is no justification of it being okay. Christians who believe that have not read their BIBLE. They have created their own god. Based on their own thought & beliefs. Hence, a god in their image…
    There is some truth about sex with multiple partners. People do became emotionally desensitized. How else can you explain ALL the broken/extended families that we have. Why so many women are on their third baby daddy, and have never been married. You would think that at some point Common Sense would kick in…lol. You would hope that at some point, a child would say/think…I want something different. I Do Not want the same difficulties that my parents went through. But, there they are…kids following their parents example.
    Democrats dont mind. It keeps people dependant on government. And when the kid grows up, another vote for the Democratic Party. Because people dont know any better.
    All you can do is teach your kids…WHAT YOU KNOW. And then, if you are religious…HOPE & PRAY that they make the BEST decision with the knowledge given to them. There is no Right or Wrong way. People are NOT Perfect. If we were, we would not have needed JESUS Christ to die for our sins…If you believe…
    Anyways, thanks for the video. Keep up the good work.

  • While I believe we ought to have well rounded sex education in US public schools, it ought to be age appropriate, devoid of indoctrination biases from all sides.

    Example: I'm in my early 40's, I grewup in rural/suburban South Jersey. Abstinence wasn't taught AT ALL, closest it came was wait till you're ready. Abortions weren't taught but for the feminists propaganda of "it's a female's right & males have ZERO say in the matter despite the baby being genetically 50% the male's.

    Also the latest trend of pathetic virtue signaling their level of "wokeness" in certain states or school districts in a disgusting & disturbing game of one upmanship by introducing younger & younger children to fringe fetishes where safety practices & informed risk takes a backseat to no judgment normalization. We now have 9-11 year olds being not just about but how to & encouraged to have anal sex. S&M & choking are in some cases taught rather than discouraged.

    For those reasons as well as numerous others, No Government has the right to supersede parental consent without due process of law & proving abuse or neglect.

    A side note: the inclusion of people who attend religious schools, which adheres to the canon laws & morality of the church are non comparables therefore bad examples.

  • I totally agree with Germany's approach to this. Hiding your head in the sand and pretending it doesn't exist is never a good option. I believe that educating people and giving them the knowledge to make their own, informed decisions is the only sensible approach. Unfortunately, we have a very strong religious element in this country that prevents this. It is slowly changing however, and I do believe that eventually the US will be more like Germany (and most of Europe) in this regard.

  • I went to high school in the 1960's, it was a Catholic high school. Our sex education was somewhat limited but more by the culture of the era than by religion. We were taught about condoms. The assumption was the teenagers will at some point have sex. Being that it was a Catholic school, abstinence was preferred but we weren't given inaccurate information. Let me add that this was before a major Catholic encyclical on birth control. The priests who were teaching us assumed that the church would accept birth control. I never heard anyone discuss the encyclical after it came out. I think many in the US were disappointed.

  • I'm going to re-write my comment as it did not convey what I wanted it to. Again, thanks Feli for doing this video and sharing what it's like in Germany on this topic! Very informative!

    My opinion of the results of Germany's approach to sex education:

    1. Teenagers are encouraged to have sex. If you talk about it in 3 different grades in school and show pictures of naked people along with it, you will arouse curiosity naturally in boys and girls and thereby indirectly encourage it.
    2. Lack of scientific facts taught. They are called fear tactics in this video, but many of those including the extreme cases have actually happened to people and can happen to anyone engaging in sex. If you are going to do a facts only approach, you can't be selective of which facts you teach.
    3. Relationships are not structured. Anything goes or doesn't go in German relationships. This makes it a lot easier to have sex be a big part of the culture. Multiple partners in a culture of structured relationships like in the US doesn't work very well. Which married spouse wants to hear that their new spouse has been with 27 different people? Not a deal breaker, but also not a highlight of the marriage. (Feli covered this in another video)
    4. Abortion rate is basically the same as in the US even though Germany is a smaller country. (Feli said the US is only slightly higher in this video)
    5. No babies, not enough Getman babies to replace the current and next retirement groups in Germany. Babies are an obstacle to free and open sex and I think we all agree that Germany has overcome this obstacle.

    For these reasons I think the US in general would be hesitant to adopt Germany's approach to sex education.

  • I wrote a comment here about probably having had "S-ed" in school, but not remembering it at all and it got automatically deleted by Youtube 2 times. I have no idea why. There was nothing political or controversial in that comment and no "bad words" as far as I can tell.

  • Some states in America still don’t properly educate people which is just insane. Schools shouldn’t be governed by religion. It should be a country wide thing to make girls know they can go to a clinic and get the pill, and guys to know well there is no shame in buying condoms.

  • "Can I get pregnant from kissing."….I feel like that question might have actually been different and perhaps you didn't want to be so explicit lol

  • I am a dinosaur, being born in 1968 and went to school through the seventies and eighties. I saw the debates and cultural conflict unfolding in the news , though as a child and youth I had no comprehension. There was no real sex ed throughout my primary and secondary schools. The Health Classes that passed for it were merely reproductive biology with some STD scare tactics. I never knew anything about condoms or other forms of prophylactic measures . I learned by experience as a college student. I agree that this factual and practical education needs to be taught , at least when puberty is near at hand!

  • I am totally with you. Also in my opinion it is important to teach about birth conrol, health savety, etc.. I totally understand the religios concerns because a lot of americans are way more relgios than germans. However, also in marriage it´s good to know about birth control, etc. It´s fine to mention abstinence as savest way or to discuss in religion class but I think it´s important to teach knowlegde of how your body works.

  • One thing that I didn't know till I was about 30, is that women can only become pregnant for 5 days or so in a month. I thought women could get pregnant at any time, and was paranoid every time I had sex. Now, that doesn't mean that the other days, I would have not worn protection.. because I would have. Mainly, because I've had health issues all my life, and did not want to get disease I could easily prevent.

    I'm incredibly picky and over-cautious on alot of things, and sex and alot of partners is one of those things. I do believe it is correct that if you have alot of partners, it is harder to bond with your partner that'd you'd wanna be with for your lifetime. Better to have less partners, and make it special with that one person, looking back in hind-sight as a 45 year old.

  • The problem in the U.S. is that a lot of conservatives either are afraid of factual knowledge, or don't know what that even is.

  • I went to Catholic and public schools in Massachusetts in Maine in the eighties.

    In my Catholic grade school we had books on human biology with the naked man and woman just like you had in Germany. In middle school in Maine, we had a woman from Planned Parenthood showing us how to put a condom on a small zucchini.

    In high school, we had the full course on contraceptives, venereal disease, abortion. We were also told about the difference between "intercourse" and "outercourse." We also had a presentation by Maine Right to Life on abortion (which seems pretty crazy to me, looking back on it, given how fraught the politics of all this were and are even more so today) which was just as graphic as all the pictures we'd previously seen of genitalia afflicted with various sexually transmitted diseases.

    Then, we had a Planned Parenthood "non directive ethics" section where we were told all about the law regarding pregnancy (if you are male, and get a girl pregnant, you have no say on what happens to your child: she can abort, give the child up for adoption, or keep it without marrying you, in which case you will have to pay child support until the child is 18) and then told we needed to figure out how we were supposed to behave based on that information.

    It was all enough to put a a teenager of sex altogether, forever.. Which I suppose was the objective. The planet can't handle more babies, and our parents wanted us to behave ourselves, after all..

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