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My Failed Rap Career | Steve-O


(laughing)
(camera shutter clicks) ♪ This one’s called “Paparazzi Beat” ♪ ♪ I beat paparazzi like Tommy Lee ♪ ♪ If they don’t take a picture of me ♪ (airy whoosh) – Yeah, dude. G-Unit Radio. This is Steve-O. In 2004, I was invited
to the G-Unit Studios, for a guest appearance on a mixtape. When I showed up, they started draping diamonds all over me. I just started calling out rappers. What’s that asshole’s name? Joe Budden? Ja Rule doesn’t even deserve the attention that fucking 50’s
nice enough to give him. In 2005, I showed up to a
G-Unit music video shoot, in L.A., for Tony Yayo. And, I was talking all this trash. You got fucking problems with fucking my man, Lloyd Banks. Fucking, 50 Cent, or the G-Unit. Then fuck all y’all.
(laughing) And then, they actually let me get on one of their tour buses, and drive to Las Vegas with them. Where they had a whole
arena show with Eminem. In Las Vegas, I met up with 50 Cent, and he recorded my voicemail greeting. Which I kept for years. – Ayy, what’s up motherfucker? This is 50 Cent. Steve-O busy right now. You understand what I’m saying to you? Matter of fact, he don’t even
want to talk to you, bitch. But, you know what? Leave a message anyway. – Yeah actually, fuck off. And the, I got on stage, at the arena, with the G-Unit. Smoked blunts. – Steve-O, come on stage. Make some noise for Steve-O, in this motherfucker.
(audience cheering) Aright? (mumbles) – Then, the next morning, I got 50 Cent to throw
me down all these stairs, in a bell hop cart. Alright 50, 1-2-3, go! – [Man] And, he’s off. (cart clacking)
(laughing) – One more try. Three times in a row. – [Man] Oh shit. (cart clacking) – [Crowd] Oh! – One more try. – [Man] Here he go, baby! (crowd cheers)
(car clacking) – G-Unit. (laughing) Later, in 2005, I was working on a movie called “TV The Movie”. Which did spoofs of TV shows. And, I decided I was gonna
make a parody of “MTV Cribs”. Where I invited everybody
into my apartment, and told them how I was becoming a rapper. (glass crashing) “MTV Pads”, yeah! So, I recorded this joke song, called “Hard As a Rock”. (upbeat rap music) ♪ Ah yeah ♪ ♪ Uh-Huh ♪ ♪ Yeah huh ♪ ♪ There’s a new boy in town ♪ ♪ And I don’t like to frown ♪ ♪ That’s why I lay it down ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Steve-O’s a gangsta ♪ In 2006, I went into Comedy Central, to pitch a TV show. And, I just started off
the meeting by saying, listen to my rap song. ♪ Sniff it ♪ ♪ Lick it ♪ ♪ Put my wiener in it ♪ ♪ The way I ball ♪ ♪ I could kick it ♪ And, the guy in charge
of Comedy Central said, I could care less about your TV show idea, but that rap song was fucking hilarious. ♪ You know my skills
gonna pay some bills ♪ ♪ Poon tang in the Hollywood Hills ♪ ♪ He’s ridin’ slidin’ dippin’ sippin’ ♪ ♪ Bustin’ nines and ♪
(gun shots) ♪ No splinter ♪ And, he wanted me to
do a comedy rap album, for Comedy Central Records. ♪ Words rock ♪ (gun shot)
(bell chimes) Now, here’s where it gets fucking crazy. It just so happened, that my entertainment lawyer, at that time, was… The lawyer for The
Notorious B.I.G’s estate. He was Biggie’s lawyer back then, and he was the fucking lawyer for Birdman. Cash Money Millionaire’s. He said, you know what? Fuck Comedy Central Records. I’m gonna to get you a deal
with Universal Music Group. He brought me into Universal Music Group, and got me a fucking record deal. We’re going to make a rap album? – [Lawyer] We’re going
to make a rap album. (laughing) – [Man] We’re going to make a crap album. (laughing) – Up to this point, it was arguably, kind of a funny idea, and maybe had some potential for success. But, I was so out of control on drugs, that as soon as I had a
Universal record deal, I’m like, started taking
myself seriously as a rapper. ♪ I’m a deadly weapon ♪ ♪ You best not be stepping ♪ ♪ I’ll teach you a lesson ♪ ♪ If you come my direction ♪ ♪ I will serve you a
mother fucking wreck ♪ And, all the while, I’m recording tracks with
legitimate hip hop artists. Like, Cool-G Rap. Fucking B-Real, from Cypress Hill. ♪ Steve-O ♪ ♪ Pass me the Mary Jane ♪ ♪ ‘Cause they don’t understand ♪ ♪ We livin’ off the chain. ♪ M.O.P.. ♪ M.O.P just checkin’
with the homie Steve-O ♪ I had 50 Cent’s DJ, Whoo Kid, as my executive producer of the album. Whoo Kid! – Don’t get us… We’re not tryna get killed
on this flight, please. – Even more insane than the situation, and how fucked up I was on drugs, was the songs I was recording. My track list was like, “Snitching is Bitching”. ♪ I break the law ♪ ♪ I rob and steal ♪ ♪ Just like you ♪ ♪ Let’s make a deal ♪ ♪ I don’t like pigs ♪ ♪ And that’s for real ♪ ♪ But if they catch me ♪ ♪ I’m gonna squeal ♪ “Crack Cocaine Feels So Good”. ♪ This is the track that’s
gonna bring it back ♪ ♪ Money I stack ♪ ♪ To pay for my crack ♪ ♪ Fucking right bitches ♪ ♪ I’m a fucking crack head ♪ Oh yeah, of course, the legendary song, “Poke the Puss”. ♪ Poke the puss ♪ ♪ Smoke the kush ♪ ♪ Flip the bitch over and tap the tush ♪ When I recorded “Down with STD’s”, I was so fucking high on PCP, I actually blacked out. You can hear in my voice, when I recorded that song, like (gurgles). ♪ How do you like this for a rap album ♪ ♪ Ladies and gentlemen (gurgles) ♪ (upbeat rap music) ♪ Fuck fuck fuck yeah ♪ ♪ Dude ♪ That night, I lost a $20,000 Rolex. No idea. For all I know, I might’ve given it away. And, I made the whole album. And, I even got to the point
of a photo shoot for the cover. And, before it could come out, I had just self destructed
on drugs so badly. I got locked up in the psychiatric ward, by the “Jackass” guys. I went to rehab, and I actually decided
to get clean, and sober. And, before I got through rehab, the record label called me up and said, that it’s all good. They were gonna shelve the album. Which is just as well. If you want to know the whole story, as embarrassing as it is, I didn’t hold anything back in my book. And, I have autographed copies for sale, at steveo.com. Grab yourself one, and what else man? Ugh. ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Best not fuck with Steve-O ♪ ♪ You know what I’m saying? ♪ ♪ Fucking M.O.P. ♪ ♪ Fucking bag you ♪ ♪ Send you to the cemetery ♪ ♪ Woo-Hoo yeah ♪ (laughs) ♪ It’s got me feelin’
all hard in here guys ♪ (laughs)

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