Stock Photo Job Search – Russian Mortician on LSD – @midnight with Chris Hardwick
October 9, 2019
As we go to our next game, Stock Photo Job Search.
Stock Photo Job Search. If there’s one thing stock photo
Web sites have in spades, it’s bizarre office place photos
that look like they were taken by a Russian mortician on LSD. So, comedians,
I’m gonna show you a stock photo of someone on the job
and you’re gonna have to tell me what job they’re applying for. First up, this. Megan. Um, girl who didn’t get what
she wanted for her bat mitzvah. Yeah, okay, points. Next one. Barry. Fart tester. Yep. These farts are A-okay. Points. Next one. Barry Rothbart. The most fun lawyer. Points. -It’s a fun lawyer.
-(squawks) I object. (squawks)
I object. Uh, next one. -(bell dings)
-Come on, mother(bleep)er! Megan Neuringer. CEO of Dumb Asshole. Yeah. All right.
Okay, I’ll give you points. -Next one.
-(bell dings) (bleep) you! Wesley Snipes’
financial advisor! (laughter) (whooping) I don’t want points!
I don’t want points! I just wanted the opportunity! Well, you’re in luck–
you’re not getting points -because it wasn’t your turn.
-Yeah. -Oh! -Aw! It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine!
It’s fine. If-if you like that,
then just tweet me about it. How ’bout that? Megan Neuringer. Director of I’m Crazy. I guess no points. Uh, the audience
wasn’t behind you on that one. -Next one. -(bell dings)
-Oh, for (bleep)… -Oh… Not Chris D’Elia. Abusive dads. -Yeah. Yes. -Oh, well…
-Wait, wait, wait. Shaquille O’Neal’s
wife’s gynecologist. -‘Cause they got…
-Oh! -No points! No points!
-Come on. (cheering and applause) All right. The audience is demanding
I give you points, D’Elia. -I must give you points.
-Oh, no! -Last one…
-(bell dings) -Aw… Barry Rothbart. IKEA model. Points. The dog’s job is
to beat the (bleep) out of her -till she gives up
the information. -Yeah. Points. What? I mean… D’Elia,
I don’t know what to say. These were
all spectacular answers, -but you didn’t get the buzzer
on time. -It’s okay! -I don’t want the points!
-Okay! -It looks like…